Trying to sort through bins of panties at Victoria's Secret resulted in panties all over the velcro on my arm braces.
I lost control of my car on black ice and rear ended a semi truck. My only injury was from having my hands on the steering wheel when the airbag went off.
Bears are friendly.
The cops got me on my birthday for expired tags.
It's my birthdaaaaaay!
I spend a good deal of my time in the clouds.
This is a thing I am good at.
Sharks love fat kids.